Cover Letter Revision

Welcome.

Please post your Cover Letter Revision Exercise to this page. Let me suggest again that you work in your word processing program, save your work, copy it and paste it into the editing window.

For the sake of convenience and readability, please put your name with your revision and format the page in such a way as to leave space between exercises. If you wish, you may separate the exercises with a horizontal line (2nd row, first button on the left). Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.


Kaitlynn Gessner

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I am writing in response to the online advertisement in the Jobs section of the Washington Post that requests for a Software Engineer with a background in Computer Science or related technical field who is available July 2014. By May 2014, I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering. A job at that time would be very attractive.

It is important to note that, I have taken several advanced courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics.

As a result of working in many retail positions, I obtained communications skills essential in dealing with the public. Through my involvement in several professional organizations, I also made numerous contacts. Furthermore, I gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work at a local home repair organization.

I welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I can be reached at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. To see whether we might arrange a meeting, I will call your office early next week .

Sincerely,

Fred

I would recommend that he include his first and last name, describe his courses rather than just list them, mention the university he attended and give a more descriptive reason for wanting the job.


Peilin Zhang

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
Phone Number: (540) 555-0100

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick;
I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014. From the consideration of time, nothing is conflicting. And the major I studied is exactly qualified with the requirements you posted on the ad. So, I hope in the future, I can contribute to the company using my professional knowledge and experiences.

The Electrical Engineering classes I took could be useful. For the Digital Communication Class, I have mastered how communication networks work, and the necessary tools and methods to create digital designs. The class also incorporates several design techniques that I could use in the future. The Wireless Networks class I took is also valuable, I am familiar with the transmission fundamentals, communication networks, mobile IP and wireless access protocol, and wireless LAN Technology. At the same time, I know the basic theory and application of fiber optics as a means of data transmission.

I have gained a lot of experiences outside the school too. By working in many retail positions, I have learnt how to communicate with public. With the good communication experiences I have gained, I made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Last but not least, last summer, I volunteered to work in a local home repair organization helping both the homeowners and engineering industry, I have gained great hands-on experiences there.

I believe all my professional knowledge and experiences could be useful in the work place. At last, I sincerely hope that you can give me a chance. If I am qualified with the job, we can arrange an interview with the time you choose, I want to learn more about the position. I have sent all the forms required through the e-mail, please check if you have time. I am really appreciate about this chance that I can contribute the knowledge I have learnt these years, and improve myself in the work environment at the same time.
Thank you for reading the letter and regarding me as one of the consideration, hoping to hear back from you.

Sincerely,

Fred

I would suggest Mr.Stevens to add more detail about the things he learnt, he just mentioned several course name without any detail explanations. Also, he forgot to mention his name.


Randall Ferrance

Fred Stephens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014 so a job at that time would be very attractive.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics.

I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public through my work experience in several retail positions. I have also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you and answer any questions you may have. I will be available at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will also call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

My main advice to Mr. Stephens would be mainly to elaborate the second paragraph. There is a lot of information about his experience in his other jobs and extracurricular activities however there is a distinct lack of information pertaining to his experience in the field he is applying to.


Christian Whitehead

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street

Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick

Director of Personnel

Johnson Engineering

23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have obtained a Bachelors of Science degree in Electrical and Computer Engineering upon completing graduation in May of 2014. I feel this is an excellent time to begin seeking employment, and believe the knowledge and skills I have obtained make me a great fit for this position.

Throughout my undergraduate career of study I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These courses include: digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics.

I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. I have also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations that have helped mentor me on what it is, and what it takes to be a successful engineer. Working with homeowners in combination with the engineering industry through volunteer work I have done at a local home repair organization has allowed me to gain valuable hands-on experience in community relations, and insight into how the engineering industry functions as a whole.

I will call your office early next week to see whether a possible meeting can be arranged, as I would be delighted to have the chance to discuss this exciting job opportunity with you in further detail in person. If you have any questions please contact me at (540) 555-0100, looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely, 



Fred Stevens

Mr. Steven’s should have acknowledged the fact that he attended a rigorous and prestigious engineering school such as Virginia Tech (if in fact he did so). This would have made him stand out to and become a more attractive option for the employer. His punctuation and spacing needed much work as well.


Kai Lu

Fred Stephens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online advertisement in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. Since I will complete my B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering in May 2014, a job at that time would be very attractive.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics. I think these advanced courses perfectly fit your requirements for a software engineer.

I have not only acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions, but also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Except these experiences in office, I have also gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I will be at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

Mr. Stevens should give more information about himself. Such as the school he will be graduated from and advantages to apply for this job. Be aware that don’t extend 300 words. People usually don’t want to read long letters.


Zachery Dean

Fred Stephens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. By May 2014, I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering. I am very eager to enter the working force as soon as possible and display the knowledge that I have learned throughout college. The skill sets that I have obtained while earning my degree would translate very well to a career at this position.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics; all of which directly relate to software engineering.

I have been able to acquire communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. I have also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Through volunteer work in a local home repair organization, I have been able to gain valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and engineers as well.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you and will call your office early next week to see if a meeting can be arranged. I will be at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me.

Sincerely,
Fred Stevens

I would suggest that Mr. Stevens elaborate more on classes that he has taken that directly relate to the tasks he will be performing if he gets the job. As well, state some of the tasks he performed through his volunteer work.


Aaron Mabee

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555- 0100

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick;
I am writing to you in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer that has a background in computer science or a related technical field that would be available in July 2014. In May 2014, I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering and this job would be very appealing to me at that point in time.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics. Also, I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public through my work in a number of retail positions. I have made numerous contacts through my involvement in professional organizations and I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work at a local home repair organization.

I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you at your earliest convenience. I can be reached at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to follow up and to see whether or not we might be able to arrange a meeting. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

Some suggestions that I would give to Mr. Stevens would be to give his full name, elaborate on the classes that he listed and why they are relevant to the job, and to give some more information as to why he would be an appropriate fit for this job.


Prakash Sapkota

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Mr. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineering with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014. The qualification and knowledge I acquired would be beneficial for the job you posted online.
I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering such as digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics that makes me a better candidate for the post.

By working in many retail positions, I have acquired essential communication skills to deal with public. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations from my volunteering work at local home repair organization. The engagement in numerous professional organizations furthers my experience in community relations.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. If you have any questions or concerns, I can be reached at 540-555-0100. I will call your office next week early in the morning to see whether we might arrange a meeting.

Sincerely,
Fred Stevens

Mr. Fred should have included his educational experience and work concentration in detail. I don’t seem to find the name of the college he graduated. He would better use his full name rather using first name only. I suggest him to use proper prefixes in the salutation. He also needs to give some time improving grammatical error and consistency of the writing.


Alex LePelch

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

May 26, 2014

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I am writing in response to your online advertisement in the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related field, available in July of 2014. I am a major in Electrical Engineering at Virginia Tech Polytechnic Institute and State University expecting to graduate in May of this year, a position at which time would be very attractive.

I believe I would be beneficial to your company as I have taken several courses in the Electrical Engineering field; these include, but are not limited to, digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics.

Having worked at many retail positions, I have acquired essential communication skills to deal with public. I have also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations, all of which have greatly shaped my understanding of the engineering field. Voluntarily working in a local home repair organization has allowed me to gain valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.

I welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you and am available by phone at the number listed above, should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see if we might arrange a meeting. I look forward to speaking with you.

Respectfully,

Fred Stevens
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I would suggest to Fred that he more specifically describes in detail his related coursework and how that knowledge would be beneficial to the company and position he is applying for. I would also suggest for him to proofread for repetitiveness, grammar, and format errors.


Taylor Spiegel

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100

May 26, 2014

Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I am applying to the online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014, and am looking to start a job at an engineering organization like Johnson Engineering after graduation.

As an Electrical and Computer Engineer I have extensive knowledge in Electrical Engineering. I have taken classes in and mastered aspects of digital communication, wireless networks, and fiber optics.

Working in various retail positions I acquired communication skills essential in dealing with the public. My involvement in several professional organizations assisted me in interacting with numerous contacts. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work at a local home repair organization.

I know my skills in engineering and fostering relationship would help Johnson Engineering fulfill their mission. I look forward to hearing from your office to arrange a meeting time. If any additional information is needed I can be reached at 540-555-0100. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Fred

Suggestions: To start introduce yourself with your full name and sign with a full name. I would provide a second form of contact, add more detail on the EE courses, explain how the skills listed make you stand out, and expand on one more skill that would help with this job.


Joe Gentry

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer. I noticed you need an engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014 and feel I have the necessary tools to go above and beyond what is needed for this job position.

In my resume you will see I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics which could all be very beneficial for a Software engineer.

I have acquired communications skills, essential in dealing with the public, by working in many retail positions. I have made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Through volunteer work at a local home repair organization I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.

I would be ecstatic if we could meet, to discuss this great job opportunity, my resume, and any questions you might have, sometime later this week if possible. I look forward to hearing back from you and thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

I would tell Mr. Stephens to elaborate more on classes, jobs, and volunteer work he has taken/done and how they help with the job he is applying for. Also, tell them which school he has attended, he might end up standing out over other applicants. Add email or fax if available.


Kasey Owen

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014. I am eager to enter the workforce and begin employing the various skill sets that I have acquired from my college studies. Due to my educational, paid, and extracurricular experiences, I believe that I would be a great fit for this position.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering where I acquired skills that are directly translatable for use in this position. These included digital communications, where I learned how to use digital communication systems as a vehicle for ideas such as abstraction, superposition, and centralized and distributed algorithms, as well as performed experiments with real-world communication channels. Additionally, the course I took on wireless networks helped me become fluent in the fundamentals of scheduling, rate allocation, power control, and scaling laws in wireless networks. In a course on fiber optics, I studied the skills necessary to perform basic fiber optic communication systems engineering calculations and identify system tradeoffs.

By working in many retail positions, I acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public. Additionally, I made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Lastly, I gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.

I enthusiastically welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. Should you desire to contact me, I will be at (540) 555-0100. Early next week I will call your office to see whether we might arrange a meeting. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Fred Stevens

I would recommend that Fred give his full name, make sure that the white space and spacing between lines is correctly formatted before sending his cover letter, mention the name of the school that he attended, provide additional contact information (if available), clearly and concisely elaborate more on his experiences (what "professional organizations" was he in and what did he do?), and articulate how these experiences and examples directly translate to him being a good fit for the position he is applying for.


Runtian Lu

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100

May 26 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I read in the July 2014 Washington Post classifieds of your need for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field. I am a major of Electrical and Computer Engineering. As I expect to graduate in May of 2014, a position at that time would be very attractive.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering. These include digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics.

I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. Through the involvement in several professional organizations, I have also made numerous contacts with them. During the volunteer work in at local home repair organization, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. Should you desire to reach me, I will be at (540) 555-0100. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

Suggestions: For the classes he has taken, he should list the name of them and write a brief description to show how those courses are related with this job position. He should also list the name of those retail positions, professional organizations. At last, he should provide his e-mail and full name, and his available time for calling his phone number.


Wesley Thurston

73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
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May 26, 2014

Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick:

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of The Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field with availability in July 2014. I am a student at Virginia Tech and will be graduating very soon.

My B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering will be completed in May 2014 and, subsequently, I feel this position is very suitable for my skill set. I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering, which include but are not limited to, digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics. I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions and have also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Furthermore, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and in the engineering industry through volunteer work in a local home repair organization.

It would be a great opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. My telephone number is (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see if we can arrange a meeting. I would be happy to provide any additional information needed. Thank you very much for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
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Suggestions: Fred needs to provide his email address. The structure of the paragraphs is very disorganized and needs to be refined. Fred needs to provide his full contact information and last name in his signature. He also needs to stop using "I" so much as nearly every sentence began that way.


James Crabb

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100

May 26 14

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your online ad in the Jobs section of the Washington Post for a Software Engineer with a background in computer science or related technical field available in July 2014. I will have a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering, including digital communications, wireless networks and fiber optics in addition to acquiring communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. Also, I made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. My volunteer work in at local home repair organization has taught me valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I look forward to calling your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

Fred needs to learn how to sell himself. He doesn't know how to organize things and does not deviate from one sentence structure. He should probably take technical writing before he graduates.


Van VanKerckhove

Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, Va 24060
(540) 991-0999

May 26, 2014

Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am writing in response to your ad in the job section of the Washington Post for a software engineer with a background in computer science or related field that will be available in July 2014. I will acquire a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering by May 2014.

I have taken several courses in Electrical Engineering including digital communications, wireless networks, and fiber optics as well as acquiring communication skills essential to dealing with the public through work in retail positions. I have also made numerous contacts through involvement in professional organizations. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the industry through volunteer work with a local home repair organization.

I look forward to the chance to discuss my credentials with you. I will give your office a call next week to discuss the arrangement of a meeting.

Sincerely,

Fred Stevens

Fred needs to learn how to market himself to the position in a better manner; he should learn to organize his writing and make the response to the ad flow better. He should also proof read his response and include a phone number/email in the heading. Technical or Business Writing could help him by showing him how to write a formal and personable response to the job posting; short and sweet if you will.

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